Post-print Corrections
for Successful Writing for the Real World
by DeWitt Scott and Michael Krigline, 2008
-- www.krigline.com.cn
Foreign Language Teaching and
Research Press
外语教学与研究出版社
In the complicated process of getting this book published, I learned that
mistakes slip into books in spite of tremendous effort on the part of the
author and editorial team. Software changed my formatting, tired editors
(or the tired author) made mistakes, and sometimes one person's opinion on
how to punctuate or format simply differed from another's opinion. Since
publication, I've found the following mistakes, formatting errors, and
areas "in need of help." Some were my fault, but many slipped in by other
means. If you are teaching a course with the aid of this book, I suggest
that you print this page and keep it in your textbook (it might be helpful
if a student says "Why isn't there a comma here" or some such thing). If
you find more problems (and I’m sure there are some), please let me know (look
here for my email address). To all who purchased my book,
please accept my sincere apologies for the need of a "corrections page."
--Michael Krigline, September 2008 (there are a few additional
comments at the bottom of this page)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
pii. Part of the terminology I had promised Novell or other copyright
holders to include, was somehow left out. Specifically, it should also say
(red parts are missing from the printed version):
Major portions of this book come from Secrets of Successful Writing
(by DeWitt H. Scott), copyright ©1989 Novell, Inc. All rights reserved.
Used, modified, reprinted, and distributed with permission from Novell,
Inc. Permission does not constitute an endorsement
of any kind from Novell, Inc. (More specifically, the following
sections contain material ©Novell: 1.1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 10, 12, 14.1, 16,
18.1, 18.2, 21, 23.1, 23.3, 24, 25, 27, 28, and DeWitt’s part of the
summary lessons.) All other parts of this book, including photos and
illustrations, are ©2008 Michael Krigline,
unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved.
When needed to help non-native-speaking English learners, Mr.
Krigline has also changed, updated or added to Mr. Scott’s sections
(especially lessons 12, 14, 24 & 28). Exercises and new content sections
were added by Mr. Krigline. No parts of this book may be reproduced in any
form or by any means without prior written permission from
the copyright holder(s). (See appendix D
for contact information.)
p5 (1st paragraph)
Once you master the lean paragraph, then
you can move into write longer
paragraphs and essays without boring your
reader.
p16 Add a note and an example:
Paraphrased passages will always give source information, and
may even include a direct quotation. The first
time you talk about the source, include a title
or description (like Dr., British economist,
or reporter); after that you can use the person’s title and family
name. When you write, never refer to someone by his first name or by a
family name without a title (e.g., “Mr.
Michael”).
±
According to British economist John
Stuart Mill, a lack of power over others is the only thing that stops us
from forcing everyone to act as we think they should. Mr. Mill says that…
±
John S. Mill, a 19th century
British economist, said that a lack of power over others is the only thing
that stops us from forcing everyone to act as we think they should.
±
Wrong: British economist John
Stuart Mill talked about our desire to force others to act as we think
they should. John says that only a lack of power…
p42&43, Format of footnotes & Format of bibliographic entries
There should be a comma between “publication date” and “date the website
was visited” as shown in the “format” section of this chapter. But the
following “examples” have a semi-colon instead of comma (and thus should
be changed). The other examples in the book are correct.
p42 bottom: …February 06, 2005,
visited may 23…
p43 middle: …February 06, 2005,
visited may 23…
p147 footnote: … August 20, 1991,
visited June 18…
p249 footnote: …cliches.html, visited January… (this
citation is a little different because Prof Stovall asked for a certain
format)
p43
Formatting problem (i.e., the content is
correct but the format is messed up): The type from "Authors'
names…" to "…Internet address" should be the same as the type for
"Authors' names…" to "…Internet address" in the "Format for footnotes" on
page 42. That is, both should be a block quote without indentation, and
the font size should be like the correct entry on page 42. [This is one of
numerous problems that entered the book when it got converted from English
Microsoft Word format to whatever program the publisher used for
typesetting.]
p44, Outline for Popcorn Essay
Outline for Popcorn Essay:
±
Thesis Statement (subject in
bold italics, support points underlined): Popcorn is made
with a special kind of corn, and for generations it has been
widely enjoyed at home and in public places.
[in the textbook, the ThSt is not in this order,
but should be]
±
Support paragraphs
w
A: a special kind of corn
(corn with water inside)
w
B: popular for generations
(dating back before 1621)
w
C: widely popular (more and
more people eat it at home, movies, etc., in various flavors)
±
Conclusion (summarizes support, and concludes with a strong
supportive fact and with the implication that popcorn is irresistible)
p50, Instructions for writing assignment C are not clear: (perhaps the
explanation should be in a footnote, but I don't want to change the
footnote order/numbers)
Original: Your essay must
include something paraphrased from an English source (i.e., you
need to find information in English, and then use it in your paper without
using any direct quotations). When you turn it in, you MUST attach a
photocopy of the first page of one English source. (Be sure to
include proper documentation, and do not plagiarize!)
Better: Your essay must
include something paraphrased from an English source i.e., you
need to find information in English, and then use it in your paper
by including an indirect quotation—see 2.2b).
When you turn it in, attach proof of the item’s source (see the
explanation below). Be sure to include proper documentation, and do
not plagiarize. Do not use personal references (e.g., I, me, my, ours).
Double-space, and use 200 to 350 words. As always, give your essay a
title. Exchange your draft with another pair of partners a day or two
before it is due, and then use their suggestions to improve it. Your
readers’ names should be written at the bottom of your first page.
Follow the “Special instructions for all
draft writing assignments” at the end of lesson 2. Don’t forget to
put both of the writers’ names at the top, along with the word count, and
the due date.
Example: Tom & Cindy (class 212), #C, 287 words, due Oct 28
(Explanation: Start your second support paragraph
with the word “Similarly,…” or “Another aspect…” unless your teacher tells
you otherwise. Choose a topic you are very familiar with. Most of this
essay must be your thoughts, expressed in your words, not
something you copied. Use ONE “news” or encyclopedia-type source [do not
use advertisements, personal blogs, student-written articles, or things
from a “practice test” or “English corner” websites or magazines]. If your
English source is a website, use your computer’s “print” button to print
the page you are taking the paraphrased information from; this print will
automatically include the complete web address. If the source is a book,
photocopy the page your information came from, and also photocopy the
book’s information page, including the ISBN number. If it is a newspaper
or magazine, photocopy the section your information came from, and also
copy the heading or footer that tells the issue and page number. If you
can’t find this information, use a more legitimate source. Do not attach a
copy of the whole webpage/article/book.)
Example: Tom & Cindy (class 212), #C, 287 words, due Oct 28
[there should not be a period at the end of this line]
p54, Exercises
Formatting problem (i.e., the content is
correct but the format is messed up): The “business card size” box
should be beside or after #3, not numbers 1 and 2.
p90, G12b (addition)
or Beijing (and the provinces
) should never have hyphens or internal
capital letters (wrong: Shang-hai, YunNan, Hai
Nan).
p130-131
Formatting problem (i.e., the content is
correct but the format is messed up):
The italicized line at the top of p 131 should have stayed with the
bulleted section at the bottom of p130 (it is a “summary” statement about
the use of the)
p132 (Quotation marks are missing from the word “British”)
(C)ii should say:
ii. People groups (like “Chinese” and
“British”)
that…
p151 [addition to 14.2b (B) and (C)]
(B) One space
normally
follows punctuation marks (except a dash, slash
and hyphen, which have no spaces after them).
(C) The periods within abbreviations and web
addresses (for example, U.S.A. or
www.krigline.com.cn/RealWorld.htm) do not need spaces after them,
and if an abbreviation ends a sentence, do not use two periods.
p183 (a period is in the wrong place; the final example in the first block
should say…)
--Right: She eats well daily.
(adverbs of manner come before adverbs of frequency)
p202 (addition)
(C)
Trouble is usually an uncountable noun or a verb. Native speakers
occasionally say troubles, but English-learners should avoid this
usage because it is often used in a joking way.
Furthermore (like problems in G4b), we don’t “meet trouble,”
we encounter or run into trouble.
±
Graduates complain that they have a lot of trouble when
looking for a job.
±
I hate to trouble you, but could you proofread this
paragraph for me?
±
When one roommate encounters
trouble, he/she can get help from the others.
p219.
Formatting problem (i.e., the content is
correct but the format is messed up):
The introduction for exercise “(E) Details” should be on the next page
with the exercise.
p225, footnote 171 contains an unneeded and incorrect word (originally, it
said “wrote these chapters” but a computer changed it to “these lessons,”
which sounded strange so I wanted to it to be “wrote this in…”). It was
supposed to say:
Loaded words, like the clichés
in lesson 23, change over time. Mr. Scott
originally wrote
this in
the 1980s, so I’ve
had to rephrase several parts
to accommodate the changes. Michael Krigline
p255. Formatting problem (i.e., the
content is correct but the format is messed up):
the title of the sample interview feature should be sentence case, not
title case. (Someone at the Press changed this.) In other words it should
be:
A movie world without pirates
Also p255. A footnote would be appropriate to explain the following:
footnote: The punctuation marks << >> are used to indicate
the Chinese translation for English films or books. These are not English
punctuation marks, so many English readers will not know what they are
for. I would normally leave them out of an English text, but the publisher
added them and insisted that they remain. In English, book and movie
titles are shown in italics (see G7c).
p266, verb tense problem. Since lesson 23 is before lesson 25 (though it
wasn’t in the original order!), it should be:
One problem with
metaphors is that, like crystal clear, they often begin life with
promise and
end as clichés (a problem we
dealt
with in lesson 23). Another problem is that
non-native readers…
p275, 26d(D); I had included the following explanation, since many
students make mistakes with “How about…”.
--How about a
movie after the meeting?
(This means, "Would you like to see a
movie…")
p275, 26e(A)
should be “Peking University” not “Beijing
University”
p284. Formatting problem (i.e., the
content is correct but the format is messed up):
: “for” should be double-underlined like this:
CHinese
to English)for the training
course of our Association in Xi'an. The training will be
p292 (clarification)
benefit, impact—First,
note the spelling (benifit). Second, remember that impact
was on the list of showoffs in section 23.3a. In
general, it is safer for non-native speakers to use benefit
[countable] and impact [non-countable] as nouns rather than
verbs. Both are used in idiomatic ways that non-native speakers
might not know. For example, expressions like “the impact of,” “made a big
impact,” “many benefits,” “the benefit of the doubt” and “[some group of
people +] benefit from [+ noun]” are common, but native speakers rarely
say “I benefit,” “that benefits me” or “you will benefit a lot from.”
Likewise, whenever I hear someone say they were “impacted” by
something, it makes me think of an impacted tooth.
±
Weak
(non-standard): I benefit a lot from
this course. This course benefits me a
lot.
±
Better: This course is good for me. This course helps me a
lot. Students have
benefitted from this course in many ways.
±
Right: This company offers good benefits.
±
OK (notice that the object is
not “me”): The new hospital truly benefits the community. (or
benefits the poor)
±
Better: The new hospital has
brought many benefits to the community.
±
Weak: The new law strongly impacted people.
±
Better:
The new law
made a big impact on people.
The impact of the new law was strong.
p294 (correction)
dive, dived, dove—The swimmer likes to dive, he
dived yesterday, and has dived many times before.
Some North Americans also say, “He dove
into the pool,” but your teacher may mark dove
as a misused word. A dove is a bird, a symbol for peace, or
a peace advocate.
p310, (5) is unclear (the summary is too oversimplified)
Don’t tell, don’t explain—show. That is, stir the
reader’s imagination, but don’t get wordy. Get your brevity by
selection, not just by compression.
p314. Formatting problem (i.e., the
content is correct but the format is messed up):
The following should be a sub-bullet, not a bullet:
bullet --Do
is used for general questions
in the present or past. When you don’t know which
aux. to choose,
or when your verb does not need any special emphasis, then choose do.
sub-bullet ~~Do
you play the piano
often? Do they study English or science? Does he talk a lot?
Did he go to a movie yesterday? Did we have homework
assigned on Friday?
p329 (add this to B; this was suggested by my Canadian proofreader to
balance the "in a fax" option in section D)
--Wang Zhi often talks to his parents by the phone,
while Zhou Wei stays in touch (with
his parents) by the e-mail or by the ICQ.
Hannah sent her resume by the fax.
p 333 (website address change)
Footnote 246 directs you to a Hong Kong University of Science and
Technology website with a list of intransitive verbs. They have changed
the address.
OLD: http://ocs1.ust.hk/ English-Grammar-Guide/Verbs/intransitive_verbs.htm
NEW (as of 4-09) http://learning.cl3.ust.hk/english-grammar-guide/Verbs/intransitive_verbs.htm
--Click "more" on that page, and you get a huge list. It worked in
Explorer (on my computer) but not on Firefox.
p338, comma in the wrong place (for American usage)
cannot refer to something in the future,
unlike
“zuìjìn (最近),”
which can mean “recently” or “soon.”
p407. Answer key. There is an extra space and a misplaced period in #2,
and “a” should have been underlined, not italicized in (o).
2. Translate… I’ve come across a few questions/problems/issues.
(We would not say “I have met problems/questions/issues.)
3. (o) …and who are making a contribution to build society…
p428, Answer key, Appendix C (G1)
(i) should be “Peking University” not “Beijing
University”
Add this to the "help for teachers" section:
Lesson 3 (how to begin). Here is a suggestion for filling extra
time. As a class or in small groups, talk about the difference between how
things start and what they look like when finished. Use fields other than
English (like building or music). Another
suggestion is to start lesson four (see below).
Lesson 4 (academic essay). First, it you have two weeks for lesson four, use them! There are many
complicated ideas here, and many students say they are significantly
different from the way they were taught to write in English. Second, add
these comments at the end of 4.1a.
Nine questions that can save your essay.
Phone somebody in the class. Read
your one-sentence Thesis Statement (ThSt; the last sentence in your first
paragraph). Ask: (1) What is my essay about? (2) What is the first
paragraph about? (3) What is the second paragraph about? If the person can’t
answer correctly, then you have a weak ThSt.
Then do the same with each support
paragraph’s Topic Sentence (TS; the first
sentence in each body paragraph). Ask (4) What is this paragraph about?
(5) What are my major support points? If the person can’t
answer correctly, the you have a weak TS.
Finally, call a different person and
read your conclusion (the whole final paragraph). Ask: (6) What is my
paper about? (7) What is my first support paragraph about? (8) What is my
second support paragraph about? (9) What is my implication? If the person
can’t answer correctly, you have a weak
conclusion.
The editors also added “by…” to the authors’ names, above the sample
essays in my answer key (this wasn’t—and isn’t—in the file on my
computer).
A few more comments about the problems in this textbook.
This textbook is more useful and has less typographical mistakes than the
original I submitted to the publisher in 2006, and I'm grateful for the
help they gave in many places. However, they also changed a few things I
would rather have not changed. For example, I asked the publisher not to
indent the single-paragraph sample essays (because single-paragraph
student essays should not be indented), but they did it anyway. I included
space in the textbook for students to mark "rewriting practice" essays and
many of the exercises; most of these spaces are gone. My original file had
a lot more white space (between sections, examples, paragraphs, etc), and
the section/lesson format was very different from the way it looks now.
Interestingly, they added white space to the answer key. They also changed
my glossary from a hanging indent format (like a dictionary) to something
I find harder to scan for vocabulary entries. I think the publisher made
many of these changes to reduce the number of pages. This is commendable
(I hate wasting paper!), but on occasion, the result is difficult to read,
or there is no space between paragraphs like there should be. I had to
move a lot of things around to accommodate their formatting changes (and
some explanations or examples lost clarity in the process). As the
deadline for publication approached, the publisher (constantly busy with
tons of other work) suddenly found themselves under a tight deadline to
get it finished; this led to a flurry of emails to show me the new format,
which I had to compare to my original and suggest corrections. I guess we
all just ran out of time to fix all the things that got corrupted in the
conversion process, though a tremendous effort successfully fixed hundreds
of problems. But the editors or typesetters also made a number of
last-minute changes without telling me, usually just using an alternate
grammatically-correct phrase/notation/form/etc., but sometimes adding
errors. As I find problems, or as my students point out things that could
be clearer, I will post them on this “post-print corrections” page.
--Michael Krigline
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